How does alcoholism destroy a relationship?
Have you ever had someone choose alcohol over you? It takes a toll on physical health and mental health as alcohol can cause high blood pressure. Additionally, alcohol use can have a negative effect on personal relationships as well.
You might imagine that domestic violence after binge-drinking is what leads a loved one or family member to leave the relationship. While physical abuse is a major issue, there are other aspects of alcohol misuse behavior that can damage relationships.
Drinking alcohol is a socially acceptable behavior, until a person loses control over their alcohol consumption. Alcohol addiction, or alcohol use disorder, is a substance use problem in which a person obsesses over alcohol and cannot stop once they get started.
It may start out with heavy drinking as a coping mechanism to deal with stress in life. For example, coming home after a long day of work, a person may enjoy a drink or two to unwind.
Many jobs are unpleasant, and then there is the long, difficult commute home. Unfortunately, some people who drink regularly will develop a drinking habit that affects other areas of their lives.
Not every drinking problem leads to domestic abuse. Yet, it is much more common that an alcohol problem leads to a lack of intimacy that can hurt a relationship over time.
How is intimacy affected by alcohol dependence?
How does alcoholism affect intimacy? Intimacy can be the physical and emotional intimacy between an adult couple, such as a married couple. Or, it can be the closeness between siblings, or parent and children.
Families often grow apart due to alcohol problems. The issue is that when substance abuse leads to addiction, the addicted person starts to put their substance use above all other priorities, including time spent with family or loved ones.
Imagine being a child, waiting for your father or mother to arrive at home. You are excited to finally see your parents after they have been away at work all day.
When the parent arrives, they may have stopped by the bar to have a few drinks, or they get home and go straight to the fridge for a few beers. Or, maybe they show up with a bottle of wine or two, and start pouring themselves a drink.
Children learn quickly to shut down and stay out of the way, in a home where a parent affected by drug addiction or alcoholism attempts to hold their life together while feeding their addiction. Emotional intimacy between parent and child is quickly lost, and can damage the relationship long-term.
How does alcohol abuse destroy a marriage?
Intimacy between spouses typically refers to physical intimacy. Excessive alcohol consumption reduces sexual desire and the ability to perform. Men experience erectile dysfunction and a lack of motivation to engage in any intimate behavior with their spouse or partner.
Over time, a marriage can slowly fall apart, as alcohol is made a priority over the marriage. For example, a wife cannot understand how her husband would rather drink then come to bed to be with her.
While a lack of sexual intimacy is not good for a marriage, neglecting a spouse emotionally can be abusive. As one spouse engages in self-harm with alcohol on a daily basis, the other spouse loses hope and begins to feel completely alone.
They say that addiction is a slow form of suicide. Fortunately, many drug abuse problems and alcohol problems do not lead to death, but it can feel as if someone has passed away.
Often, a person who has a spouse or partner with an alcohol problem feels a sense of mourning as if they are losing someone to a terminal illness. The difference between alcohol use disorder and most terminal conditions is that loved ones believe that the alcoholic should be able to just stop.
Is alcoholism a mental illness?
When we think of a drinking problem as a mental health condition, we may develop a new perspective. While it is true that physical injuries can strain relationships as well, family members are usually more understanding.
For example, if a woman falls and breaks her hip, her husband is likely to be understanding that she will have to limit her activities, and she will need physical therapy to recover from her injury.
What if the same woman requires alcohol addiction treatment? Would the husband and family be just as understanding?
Mental health conditions are often not respected in the same way that physical health conditions are. Particularly, substance use disorders are not thought of in the same way as other health issues.
Family members get frustrated with the lying, stealing, and endless excuses. Why can’t they just stop drinking? Why do they need to attend a substance abuse treatment program and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings?
It can be difficult to understand that continued alcohol use is not a choice for people with alcohol use disorder. They cannot stop on their own, even if they want to stop.
How does alcohol affect relationships after addiction therapy at an addiction treatment program?
The trauma caused by years of alcohol addiction can leave emotional scars that persist even after the alcoholic enters recovery. Imagine a family that has witnessed a loved one nearly dying from alcohol poisoning, and now they are expected to resume life as usual.
It can take a long time for family members to begin to heal from the trauma of living with a family member who abused alcohol. Individual therapy and family therapy can help to facilitate the healing process.
Over time, families can heal and come back together when a loved one overcomes their addiction and enters recovery. Yet, in some situations, the relationship has been damaged by addiction to such an extent that there is no way to repair the relationship.
Substance abuse treatment programs often include family therapy and relationship counseling. While a spouse may decide to end the marriage, there is still hope to repair the relationship between parent and children.
As children grow older, they are better able to understand what their parent with an addiction problem was going through. They gain a better understanding of mental health issues and realize that it is a health problem and not necessarily a moral failing.
Can treatment providers offer medication-assisted treatment for alcohol use disorder?
You may be aware of medication-assisted treatment (MAT) for heroin addiction treatment. episodes on treating alcohol use disorder and opioid use disorder. Doctors prescribe medications, such as Suboxone or naltrexone, to help reduce cravings. Listen to MAT podcast to know more.
Naltrexone also helps to control alcohol cravings. Doctors prescribe naltrexone in the form of tablets or a monthly injection, Vivitrol.
Naltrexone pills can be prescribed to a person who is still drinking to help them reduce their alcohol intake. This is known as The Sinclair Method.
Strong relationships can help to support a person who requires medical treatment for alcohol addiction. Family members can work together to make sure that their loved one makes it to doctor appointments and that they take their medication as directed.
When a treatment facility provides family therapy services, family members can help by showing up to therapy sessions. Family support through an addiction can make all the difference.
Did any of your relationships end because of alcohol abuse? If you are interested in learning more about how alcohol can affect relationships, you may enjoy listening to our podcasts on recovery. In addition to The Rehab Podcast, we have a new network dedicated to addiction treatment and recovery with a wide variety of shows available on most podcast platforms.
